In my last post about the leadership management, I wrote about the negotiating skills and how we, as humans, try to play for the win/lose situations when we are negotiating for our goals. It was interesting to reflect back on us again, as humans, on what makes us perform this kind of behaviour.
This interesting aspect takes us to inspect ourselves and differentiate between what we really are and what others think of us as i.e., what we project to be. Essentially, what we project to others is our ‘persona’, and believe me, we show plenty of them within us !
More or less, we in our professional or in the personal life, we portray various kind of personas depending on situations and we do so mostly to get our work done. Have a look at the following personas and the kind of behaviour that is displayed by the person wearing the persona, it might help you relate back to your own behaviours.
Behaviour seen / bumper sticker !
|Conscientious||Do the right thing …||In high risk environments|
|Supercompetent||Here, let me do it …||Less risky or wants to show off|
|Devoted||I will always be here for you …||Care taker, family man / woman|
|Drama queen/king||You would not believe the day I had …||Super excitement in all things that are done|
|Performer||The show must go on …||Calling themselves practical thinkers, do not think of effects|
|Victim||Why me ?||Passive thinking, resistive nature|
|Critic||I will tell you what is wrong …||Wants to do, but points negative things first|
|Loner||By myself …||Super performer, normally thinks others do not align with me|
|Space out||Huh… what ?||Attitude !|
|Mr Nice Guy||Sure ! Yes !||Wants to be in the right side of things always|
|Stoic||I can take it …||Tries to put a brave face but have fear inside|
|Hostile||Out of my way …||Puts too much pressure even for simple things|
|Self-righteous||I will never …||Man of principles, apparently|
|Rebel||Not me, man !||Will do things in my own way ..|
|Shy||I will wait for my turn …||Why should I speak now, I will tell only if asked, even if its important|
|Chameleon||Whatever you say …||Flatterer, always says things, but does little|
While wearing the personas itself is not a bad thing as such and we may need to wear them as the situation demands. However, what we should avoid is to have the persona overtake our actual self and make us believe in what we are not !
In case you are unable to find out what personas you have wore in the past then the following questions, given to us as a part of exercise, may help.
– What about specific people make you not connect with them ?
– Kind of people that you easily connect with ?
– What are some of the things that you resist in others?
– What are these things that I resist in myself ?
– Identify 5 examples of where you have demonstrated the same behaviour / action that you resist in others ?
– What are the 3/4 personas I use to,
a) To be accepted / loved
b) To get the job done
– When did you make your 1st appearance ?
– What are you most proud of ?
– What are you most afraid of ?
– What do you think will happen to <your name> if you are not in charge ?
– Whenever you take over, what are you always sure of getting from the environment ?
Think of the answers for the above questions and hopefully they will help you realize more about yourself.
As I mentioned in my last post about leadership, one of the most important aspect of leadership is to realize yourself and know more about your own behaviours, personas and intents about your own working style. Knowing about the personas help you understand what state of mind you are in and are you your real self or not, thus helps you take proper decisions in every step that may benefit you in the end.
So, try out the answers for the questions above and see what you realize about yourself !